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Vaccinations Cause Mental Retardation!

Apparently vaccinations cause mental retardation. What? You didn’t hear?

Just for the record, here are some real things that can cause mental retardation (Source: World Health Organization)

Chromosomal disorders: Downs syndrome, Fragile X syndrome, Prader Wili syndrome, Klinefelters syndrome

Single gene disorders: Inborn errors of metabolism, such as galactosemia, phenylketonuria, mucopolysaccaridoses

Hypothyroidism, Tay- Sachs disease, Neuro-cutaneous syndromes such as tuberous sclerosis, and neurofibromatosis.
Brain malformations such as genetic microcephaly, hydrocephalus and myelo-meningocele.
Other dysmorphic syndromes, such as Laurence Moon Biedl syndrome

Other conditions of genetic origin: Rubistein Tabi syndrome De Lange syndrome

Adverse material / environmental influences: Deficiencies, such as iodine deficiency and folic acid deficiency
Severe malnutrition in pregnancy
Using substances such as alcohol (maternal alcohol syndrome), nicotine, and cocaine during early pregnancy
Exposure to other harmful chemicals such as pollutants, heavy metals, abortifacients, and harmful medications such as thalidomide, phenytoin and warfarin sodium in early pregnancy.
Maternal infections such as rubella, syphillis, toxoplasmosis, cytomegalovirus and HIV others such as excessive exposure to radiation, and Rh incompatibility.

Complications of pregnancy, Diseases in mother such as heart and kidney disease and diabetes and Placental dysfunction.

Severe prematurity, very low birth weight, birth asphyxia, Difficult and/or complicated delivery, Birth trauma

Septicemia, severe jaundice, hypoglycemia  

Brain infections such as tuberculosis, Japanese encephalitis, and bacterial meningitis
Head injury
Chronic lead exposure
Severe and prolonged malnutrition
Gross under-stimulation

Now, if you do a little research before you decide to shoot your kid up with a new vaccine, you might find yourself here – where you can read all about the testing and side effects for Gardasil (made by Merck, who Bachmann is saying paid into Perry’s political campaign – A WHOLE OTHER ARGUMENT for a later date). Nowhere does mental retardation fall into the side effect categories. Now, they do say that fainting can occur. If you faint, you could whack your noggin and according to the World Health Organization, head injury can cause mental retardation.

So, a possible side effect is fainting – which could lead to mental retardation – but only if you knock the hell outta yer head.  Hm. Yeah, I guess we can take that leap, can’t we? I mean, Michele Bachmann feels super-free to do so. I mean, with her VAST medical knowledge from the BA she received at Winona State University (uh, where?) – or it might have been from the law degree she got at Oral Roberts University. Maybe it was the advanced Master of Laws degree at William & Mary where she really spread her wings in the medical field? It’s really hard to pinpoint, I know.

I mean, really people. Is there anyone with any semblance of intelligence who is taking this woman for real? The gross irresponsibility of this retardation statement is astounding. This, my friends, is how urban legends, gossip and misinformation spreads like wildfire. Some woman at her Florida debate told her about her daughter suddenly being mentally retarded? From a vaccine that thousands of young women have been receiving now for several years? A vaccine that has proved to prevent certain types of cervical cancer? CANCER, Michele. CANCER! REALLY??? Can we please do a little research before we go spouting off about the crazy women who show up at your debate?

And these “innocent” little girls? Yeah, guess what Michele? They are having sex. They are giving blow jobs. They are dry humping in the backseat of their parent’s cars. I’ll bet $800 billion dollars that even YOUR 16 year-old daughter has done more than she’s told you (if she’s said anything). And guess what? You don’t even actually have to have sex to catch HPV, you know why? Because men carry it on their balls. You could just lay naked on top of someone and catch it if your little bits and pieces go touchy-touchy. And condoms don’t always help either, that is unless you know of a condom that fits over the ball sack. Now that I’d like to see.

HPV can lay dormant for years. My last OB/GYN told me she had to tell a 72 year old woman she had it. The woman had all of 2 sexual partners (slut!), both of whom were her husbands (she was widowed, twice).  The woman had children and regular pelvic check-ups her whole life (clearly, at 72!). Happily, the woman’s strain did not progress after a cervical scrape. The facts are that approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. Another 6 million people become newly infected each year. HPV is so common that at least 50% of sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives (Source: The Center for Disease Control). I personally might go so far as to call that pandemic.

Receiving a vaccine doesn’t mean that a 12 year old girl recipient is going to go out and start screwing irresponsibly. Who in their right minds would even consider that? There’s this thing called education. It’s called parenting. It’s called opening your mouth and sharing facts about a potentially life-saving drug with pre-teen girls and boys. It’s explaining the risks we are all responsible for these days. It may require some reading. It may require some time spent in an actual conversation with your kids, your partner and yes, your spouse. *gasp*

As a non-HPV side bar? It really bums me out that the Republican party can’t produce better female candidates than Palin (what happened to all the “Just you wait for 2012!” rhetoric of 2008?) and Bachmann. It’s a sad reflection of their party and of  women in general.

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Michele Bachmann? Please stop talking.

Oh, and on a more happy note...there are still TWO MORE DAYS to enter to win the Pre-Love Melissa Sweet Gown! All ya gotta do is leave a comment! Easy-peasy!

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Reader Comments (10)

Amen! Not only am I a special ed teacher (with a room full of kids who didn't become mentally retarded after recieving vaccines, but from some of the ways you listed above) but I also work with teenagers. Teenagers won't wait for permission or safety or correct information before they have sex. They'll just have sex whether they understand the possible consequences or not.

Even if your daughter never kisses a man before she is married she could still end up with HPV. Because god knows what the hell the man she married was doing before he met her. Or she could be raped. It's a vaccine, it doesn't inject some libido stroking chemicals into you. I'm married and if a vaccine for HIV came out tomorrow, I'd still take it. Because you never know what could happen and I believe it's best to protect yourself from everything you can.

It also makes me cry into my pillow that Michelle Bachman is a presidential candidate. Of all the intelligent, qualified, reasonable women out there, they hand us Michelle Bachman. At this rate, we'll never see a woman elected president. And it's also helping to reinforce all those caveman stereotypes about women. I just...I can't even.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I agree with you 100%! This kind of claim would not have even been made if there weren't such mass hysteria in general over all vaccinations. My son was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism this year, but not ONCE did I ever think it was because I had him vaccinated. He was born that way. End of story.

As a Republican woman (not one supporting Palin or Bachman), I am not surprised at the low quality of female candidates with the amount of nasty rhetoric and smear campaigns that come out against them, who would ever want to put themselves in those shoes? Like the story that said Bachman couldn't perform presidential duties because she gets migraines. Here in California we had two decent female candidates in Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman, but one of the actual arguments I heard for not voting for them were, "Meg has weird wrinkles on her neck." REALLY? When you would you EVER hear that about a male candidate? But no matter which party they are running for I always hear that a woman would get PMS and blow up China. Other countries have had women for leaders and they haven't had any kind of menstrual related meltdowns.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrynn

Brynn - Hello? Margaret Thatcher. I think she did a pretty good job, eh? I don't think there was any PMS meltdowns there. Or blowing up of China. ;) Great comment! Thanks for sharing.

September 20, 2011 | Registered CommenterLouise

Yes yes yes I completely agree, it would be fabulous if M.B. would shut up. People believe enough crazy things on their own without someone who is a presidential candidate (and therefore, you would assume, someone who would be slightly concerned about the veracity of the statements they make) using her position to perpetrate even crazier ideas.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Girl I totally agree with you!!! Great post!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmyJean

I love you so much.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Well said. Her ignorance and irresponsibility is dangerous and embarassing, as a woman and as an American. I would be interested to know if her daughter makes it to 25 without the dreaded call from her gyno asking her to come in for a colposcopy to remove the HPV cells from her cervix...I would be willing to bet she doesn't.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I'm taking part in a clinical trial of the HPV vaccine for "older" women and happened to have an appointment with the study nurse last week. We decided that I am definitely in the group that got the vaccine (it's a double blind trial) as I am having a seriously stupid patch at the moment! Though... stress....hormones...lack of sleep... nah, gotta be the vaccine!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy B

@Tracy B - ooooh, I wanna hear how the rest of your trial went.

September 20, 2011 | Registered CommenterLouise

Thank you for this post. There are so many ignorant people out there that believe things like this, it's nice to know that not everyone falls for the BS.

September 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMB

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